The ability to get as many things done as soon as possible to everyone's satisfaction has become a daily expectation in modern society. Multitasking and exceeding expectations is now a measuring stick for success and worth. In the midst of this growing need to be perfect in other people's eyes, we have become willing to sacrifice our energy, time, money, and self-respect in the process.
What's really interesting about this human phenomenon is that we somehow lose sight of our needs until we have sacrificed too much. It's not until we have developed high blood pressure, are $50,000 in debt, started missing important family events, or have twice as many projects as your coworkers that we realize we've gone overboard and caused damage to ourselves.
Let's not go overboard. The limit should not be, "I stop when I get high blood pressure." The limit is "I stop BEFORE I get high blood pressure." Otherwise, you would then have to add "managing high blood pressure" to your list of things to put your energy into. Know what your ACTUAL limits are so that you can take care of and protect yourself. This will be key to living as long a happy and healthy life as possible.
Whether it is not passing an exam or placing last in a marathon, you made it. Whether it is a very long day at work or moving into a new home, you've done it before and, therefore, can do it again. Whether it's having been in an abusive relationship or grieving the loss of a loved one, you're forging on.
No matter what struggle, challenge, or hurdle you have faced, big or small, the fact that you're here still drawing breath within this human experience shows strength, courage, resilience, resourcefulness, self-compassion, and a sense of purpose. Don't take your eye off the prize, which is to manifest your soul's true desire. Life.
There are no two people who are exactly the same physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Your soul is unique and far reaching, affecting more souls than you know in more ways than you can imagine. Your impact can be the care you gave, the words you spoke, the smiles you shared, and the words you wrote.
A hug you gave may have soothed someone's weary soul, stearing them from a deep depression. Your achievements, no matter how small, may have inspired a perseverance in others that drove them to successful careers. Sharing stories about yourself may have helped someone who can relate to them feel less alone in this giant world. Offering a child a piece of candy may have been the first moment they realized they truly matter. The things we do that seem simple or insignificant can have a majestic impact on another's life.
So, if someone doesn't understand your grief, that is fine. It simply means the impact of that lost soul was meant specifically for you. That departed soul had a meaningful purpose to fulfill in your life's journey. They fulfilled that purpose, and your grief is a painful yet pure, non-discriminating, and boundless appreciation for what that departed soul made possible for you.
Kelly Nembhard is a certified health coach, Reiki therapist, and aromatherapist with experience as a clinical research professional and developmental biologist. She currently lives in Durham, NC.
Any medical information published on this website is not intended as a substitute for informed medical advice. You should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.