A big part of our mental well-being is feeling of value to the world. Our authentic self wants to live life with purpose that makes a positive impact on others. One way to do that is by volunteering.

There are so many needs in a community that can be met with just an extra pair of hands. From walking dogs at an animal shelter to mowing the grass of a disabled homeowner, there are many opportunities for making a meaningful difference in the lives of others. Even using 5 minutes a week to take the trash out to the curb for pickup would mean so much to an elderly neighbor who struggles to lift small objects.

Volunteering not only fulfills a sense of purpose but also provides a chance for personal and professional growth. Organizing charity events builds planning and leadership skills. Volunteering as a receptionist at a free clinic develops communication and customer service skills. Being a mentor in an afterschool program prepares you for relating to children as a school teacher, pediatrician, or social worker.

Are you not sure you will have time to volunteer? Some businesses provide employee volunteer programs, also known as corporate volunteer programs. That's right! Your employer may provide a benefit program where you can volunteer at a non-profit during work hours. It is considered to be volunteer paid time off, completely separate from your regular paid time off.

So, if you are feeling the drive to make a difference, you can! Whether it is knitting scarves for the homeless, picking up trash at the local park, or helping your nephew with his math homework, try volunteering. We need you more than you know.

Finding out a loved one has died is like a detonated bomb that damages the boundaries of presence.

You have a sharp moment when you are present (finding out the person died). It creates a pain so big and powerful that your mind and soul cannot contain it. That pain explodes, creating heartbreak.

You are then thrown into the past with the shouldas, couldas, and wouldas. You cling to the memories, almost as if losing your loved one risks losing the memories as well. Thinking of the past becomes so stressful that your mind then runs away from the stress into the future. You then imagine what the future will look like without that loved one in your life. The thought of that is also stressful; so your mind runs away back to the past, and then back and forth you go.

During the moments when you are in the present, the pain is still strong and palpable. The present moment = this person you love is not here. Your mind tries to reduce the pain as much as possible. You distract yourself with work, fun, or a task that requires your undivided attention. If you don’t, your mind continues to run away to the past and future.

Grief is the frequency and force with which you switch between the past and future in response to the pain of the present. How long grief lasts depends on how long it takes to repair the damage to the boundaries that help you live in the present moment.

I don’t have a solution to grief, because the pain is different with each loss. But being aware of what is happening in response to each loss will make it easier to get through it. Being aware makes it easier to know when I need a bit of extra care and comfort so that I can seek it out. My loved one would want that for me.