Finding out a loved one has died is like a detonated bomb that damages the boundaries of presence.
You have a sharp moment when you are present (finding out the person died). It creates a pain so big and powerful that your mind and soul cannot contain it. That pain explodes, creating heartbreak.
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Each culture has specific expectations of each demographic: men should be physically strong; women should cook; teenagers should get good grades in school; and children should be seen, not heard. The problem with having specific expectations of whole sections of society is that it's unrealistic.
There is no circumstance in life that is perfect. Whether it is your spouse, career, home, physical body, or skills, they will never be 100% favorable. That's because flaws provide opportunities for personal growth and understanding.
One night during my third year of college, some friends knocked on my dorm room door proclaiming, "We're going country line dancing! Let's go!" In which reality would you see a Jamaican going country line dancing in the middle of Connecticut? Apparently, in the one where your friends offer to pay for everything. Human beings are social by nature. There isn't a person on Earth whose thoughts, emotions, actions, and beliefs are not impacted in one way or another by people. Faced with that reality, one of the best forms of self-care is creating for yourself a network of people who make us feel loved, safe, and supported at all times: your tribe.
With our fast-paced, mind-cluttering existence, stress, anxiety, and lack of restful sleep are very common among adults. One tool for helping ease these issues is the weighted blanket.
Originally created in the 1990's to provide calming effects on those with mental health conditions, weighted blankets apply "deep touch pressure" to the body, providing a feedback to our nervous system that reduces anxiety and makes it easier to fall asleep, similar to swaddling a baby. We get our energy from the food we eat, and we need energy to get through the day. But, how does that energy flow throughout the body?
Traditional Chinese medicine teaches that just as blood flows through blood vessels, life energy flows throughout the body via meridians. Meridians are a network of channels connecting all parts of the body, distributing energy to where it's needed. Meridians can become blocked, which creates pain, muscles spasms, inflammation, joint stiffness, fatigue, and other physical discomfort. These energy blocks can be caused by poor physical care, unfavorable environmental conditions, and persistent mental/emotional stress. To help remove blocks from the meridians and keep energy flowing throughout the body, many have turned to: • Acupuncture, acupressure, or reflexology: inserting needles into or applying pressure to points on the body to break up energy blocks. • Qigong or Tai chi: using physical movements to help move energy throughout the body. • Reiki: channeling and delivering life energy to the body to restore energy levels and proper energy flow. With these techniques at your disposal, don't suffer unnecessarily with discomfort and sluggishness. Treat your mind and body by boosting your energy flow. If you've been ignored, dismissed, berated, taken advantage of, belittled, or underestimated, you may have felt like a waste of space, subhuman, unloved, or like a doormat. But, if you were to remove your culturally-created self, the part of you that identifies with everything you've been told you are by your parents, relatives, coworkers, the entertainment industry, government, religion, news media, what would you be left with?
You would be left with your authentic self, the part of you that is kind, smart, brave, loving, dependable, powerful, protective, loyal, adventurous, and open-minded. The part of you that was manifested on Earth as beautifully as the trees, mountains, butterflies, and dolphins. The natural not-messed-around-with you is pure and lovely. You know it's true. So, commit to forgive those who try to create doubt in you about your worth. Because most likely, they are doing it to offset the same doubts they have about themselves. Many say that the most powerful word amongst all the languages of the world is Love. But not enough energy, education, and appreciation has been given to its first runner-up, NO.
NO packs quite a punch. It can break hearts, deplete self-esteem, and start all-out war. However, when used for good with grace and without fear, NO is one of the most powerful tools in self-care. It is a shield against the people who will suck you dry. You know who they are. Sometimes, we're motivated to power through situations to meet a deadline, to prove a point, or because you're "in the zone". But, what about when you're tired, sick, or overwhelmed?
Despite our better judgment, we often still push through these circumstances and become burnt out, of no use to ourselves or others. Why do we do that to ourselves and repeatedly? Is it because taking a break is a sign of weakness, laziness, indifference, or ineptitude? |
AuthorKelly Nembhard is a certified health coach, Reiki therapist, crystal healer, and aromatherapist with experience as a clinical research professional and developmental biologist. She currently lives in Durham, NC. Archives
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Any medical information published on this website is not intended as a substitute for informed medical advice. You should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
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