Whenever I decide to make gumbo, Bolognese meat sauce, or oxtails, it's after I build myself up physically and mentally for the process and remind myself the results are worth it.
By building myself up, I mean thinking through all I need to do throughout the process and commit to it. Commit to setting aside time to buy the ingredients, clean and season meat, clean and chop vegetables, combine the ingredients in the right order to get the best out of them, and let them simmer for 1.5 to 2 hours. I then just take a deep breath and get to it. As I leave the pot to simmer, the smell of the food wafts throughout my home, letting me know the fruit of my labor is almost at hand; but, I still have to clean up the kitchen, wash dishes, take out the trash, etc. Then, when the food is cooked and I take my first bite, I'm reminded it is all worth it.
The process is the same for going after anything that you feel is your life purpose or makes your heart sing. Creating a fulfilling life involves grueling work when preparing and taking action. Regardless of what you choose to strive for, the journey will be littered with doubts and moments that fuel your passion. So, if what you really want is truly worth it, accept the process for all it is and get to it.
I hate to break it to you; but, our lives are built on failure. You wouldn't have known how to walk without falling on your diapered baby bum a few times first. So, if failure is required to learn the basic human function of walking, why is failure considered a bad thing?
Thomas Edison failed ~1200 times to create the light bulb; but eventually, he and his team created one that worked and brightened billions of human lives from flashlights to photocopiers to the screens of our smartphones.
Failures become successes when you see each one as a learning opportunity and are open to the possibility of successes greater or different from the ones you imagined:
What does success look and feel like?
Why did this not work?
What have we not tried so far?
Who can help?
When is the better time to act?
Where can we get what we need?
How will this change create success?
When your work performance takes a plunge, the seam you stitch on that pillowcase is not straight, or you do not pass a test, remind yourself that you've failed many times before, and those failures eventually led to a success. Look at the situation as a learning experience, and you may achieve a greater success than you bargained for.
The ability to get as many things done as soon as possible to everyone's satisfaction has become a daily expectation in modern society. Multitasking and exceeding expectations is now a measuring stick for success and worth. In the midst of this growing need to be perfect in other people's eyes, we have become willing to sacrifice our energy, time, money, and self-respect in the process.
What's really interesting about this human phenomenon is that we somehow lose sight of our needs until we have sacrificed too much. It's not until we have developed high blood pressure, are $50,000 in debt, started missing important family events, or have twice as many projects as your coworkers that we realize we've gone overboard and caused damage to ourselves.
Let's not go overboard. The limit should not be, "I stop when I get high blood pressure." The limit is "I stop BEFORE I get high blood pressure." Otherwise, you would then have to add "managing high blood pressure" to your list of things to put your energy into. Know what your ACTUAL limits are so that you can take care of and protect yourself. This will be key to living as long a happy and healthy life as possible.
Whether it is not passing an exam or placing last in a marathon, you made it. Whether it is a very long day at work or moving into a new home, you've done it before and, therefore, can do it again. Whether it's having been in an abusive relationship or grieving the loss of a loved one, you're forging on.
No matter what struggle, challenge, or hurdle you have faced, big or small, the fact that you're here still drawing breath within this human experience shows strength, courage, resilience, resourcefulness, self-compassion, and a sense of purpose. Don't take your eye off the prize, which is to manifest your soul's true desire. Life.
There are no two people who are exactly the same physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Your soul is unique and far reaching, affecting more souls than you know in more ways than you can imagine. Your impact can be the care you gave, the words you spoke, the smiles you shared, and the words you wrote.
A hug you gave may have soothed someone's weary soul, stearing them from a deep depression. Your achievements, no matter how small, may have inspired a perseverance in others that drove them to successful careers. Sharing stories about yourself may have helped someone who can relate to them feel less alone in this giant world. Offering a child a piece of candy may have been the first moment they realized they truly matter. The things we do that seem simple or insignificant can have a majestic impact on another's life.
So, if someone doesn't understand your grief, that is fine. It simply means the impact of that lost soul was meant specifically for you. That departed soul had a meaningful purpose to fulfill in your life's journey. They fulfilled that purpose, and your grief is a painful yet pure, non-discriminating, and boundless appreciation for what that departed soul made possible for you.
When most people are asked "what does whole health mean to you?", a combination of physical, mental, emotional, and maybe spiritual well-being usually springs to mind. But, these are only some of the factors that affect the quality of a person's life. If someone were to ask "what affects your sense of peace and security", you may say "my job", "where I live", or "having friends and family". Therefore, it would seem that your career or job, physical environment, and relationships also have roles to play in a person's well-being.
What a crazy time we are having! Seasonal Allergies. Cold. Flu. And now coronavirus?!!!
It seems Spring 2020 is a giant dodgeball game. But, instead of balls, viruses and bacteria are coming at us from all angles. We have many lines of defense, such as medications, air purifiers, vitamins & minerals, and soap. Let's add another one - ESSENTIAL OILS!!!
The ancient Greeks and Romans were onto something when they were adding lavender essences to their baths. This plant is all levels and ways of awesome, being the remedy for a ton of ailments from insomnia to bruises. Think about it. If lavender protected people from the plague during the Middle Ages, it is worth a double-take when walking past the essential oil shelf in your local store.
It is understandable that counseling and health coaching can seem to be the same thing:
There are a few misconceptions about essential oils (EOs). They are not some new-age hippie fad! Not only are EOs natural, effective, and multi-purpose, but also the original gangsters of the world of medicine, their use dating back 4500 B.C.
EOs have been used in Asia and Europe for centuries to heal wounds, prevent infections, alleviate anxiety, and flavor foods. The original recipe for Coca-Cola used the essential oils of orange, lemon, nutmeg, cinnamon, coriander, and neroli.
Today, EOs are being used to treat epilepsy, sinus congestion, premenstrual syndrome, migraines, and other health concerns. With all that they can do for our health and well-being, EOs are becoming a staple in the home. Most likely, you may have been benefiting from them and not know it:
Kelly Nembhard is a certified health coach, Reiki therapist, and aromatherapist with experience as a clinical research professional and developmental biologist. She currently lives in Durham, NC.
Any medical information published on this website is not intended as a substitute for informed medical advice. You should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.